Hooper’s Dilemma: What Wine to Bring When You Don’t Know What Wine to Bring
Hooper’s choices in Jaws are pretty solid, but Beaujolais can be off-putting to experienced wine drinkers who aren’t keen on its candy, cinnamon, banana, and bubble gum aromas.
Chardonnay is highly versatile and can be made in a variety of styles, which can range from “How much did you pay??” collectibles to “The bra’s comin’ off and the sweatpants are goin’ on!” afternoon porch pounders.
That said, Chardonnays tend to be love ’em or hate ’em choices, especially if they’re oak-y or buttery. (Everyone has their preference.)
For many people, they are considered a “safe bet” (lower calorie, low to no tannins, comfortable/familiar aromas, and no embarrassing tooth staining).
Red Wine Alternatives
Go for a Pinot Noir instead. With its lighter body and refreshing acidity, it can pair nicely with a range of dishes.
For inexperienced drinkers:
California Pinot Noirs: Central Coast, Santa Maria Valley, or Russian River
These will typically be fruitier and fresher tasting. In recent years, Russian River Pinots (such as J Vineyards) have also featured a fun and distinctive cola note. You can find their entry-level Pinots for around $20 in retail shops.
For pickier palates:
French Burgundy,* Willamette Valley (Oregon) Pinot or Central Otago (New Zealand) Pinot
These will feature spicier, earthier, meatier notes, especially as they age. Central Otago wines are pretty frickin’ awesome — and lesser known to many wine drinkers. This might just impress your friends.
*Pro-Tip: To mitigate the financial shock of purchasing a Burgundy wine, look for those with more generic appellations: Bourgogne Rouge or Bourgogne Haut Côtes de Nuits.
White Wine Alternatives
To branch out, opt for a Pinot Gris/Grigio or a Sauvignon Blanc instead. Both are light, crisp, and refreshing alternatives to Chardonnay.
For inexperienced drinkers:
Pinot Gris from Alsace, France; Sauvignon Blanc from Marlborough, New Zealand.
Alsatian Pinot Gris will be juicier, riper, and rounder tasting.
The signature grassy/herbaceous notes of Sauv Blanc will be more muted — or at least well-balanced with the fruit aromas — in NZ wines. New Zealand’s unique growing environment allows Sauv Blanc to express its full range of aromas and flavors, balancing the more herbaceous notes with riper/juicier aromas, while maintaining the refreshing acidity.
For a budget-friendly option, look for Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc in your local grocery store.
For pickier palates:
Pinot Grigio from Alto Adige or Veneto, Italy; or Sancerre or Menetou-Salon (Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire Valley, France).
These delicious wines deliver leaner-meaner (green apple and citrus) aroma profiles and more salinity and/or minerality.
The “Aw, F*ck It, I Don’t Want to Think That Much” Option
Prosecco
You really can’t go wrong with sparkling wines. They’re light, fun, and versatile. They also lack Champagne’s breadier/toastier notes, which can read as bitter or unpleasant to some.
